Survivalist
by Raxychaz
Summary: Dweller of woodlands and avoider of people Menma Uzumaki is more than a little bored of sitting in forests all day slaughter Grimm on mass. So, with that in mind he returns to civilization, meets up with an old friend and gets offered a job because of nepotism. Will he use this authority responsibly, almost assuredly not. (Lemons Abound.)
1. Chapter 1

**So I'm saying this now, I do not Like RWBY. The show is borderline retarded, storywise. The characters annoy me and the only redeemable part of it is the fight scenes. So don't expect a long of similarities between this and the cannon, also for the moment this will just be a one-shot until I get more done with 'Trainer for Hire' and 'The Great Bloodied One'.**

 **No gaping of tight little asses yet though, that's for later. Basically this'll be a smut-fic, the story'll be there sure, I'd feel like I was committing a cardinal sin if there wasn't, but the smexytimes will be the main focus.**

 **Start!**

What is a Hunter/Huntsman, whatever.

Some people will tell you a Huntsman is one who safeguards humanity from the Grimm, protectors of the world and other such things. Not untrue but not exactly correct either.

The truth of the matter is the a Hunter is a mercenary. One who is paid for a job and executes the job to the best of their ability. Typically the job _does_ involve killing the creatures of Grimm but most of the time it does not. The younger Hunter's for example typically stay within the bounds of Vale or other kingdoms and take jobs within, venturing out only for trials and other such things.

 _Typically_.

There are exceptions to this rule, usually Hunters apprenticed to veterans, or people with eyes bigger than their bellies who want to seek glory ASAP.

Or there were those rare gems who just wanted to be away from people and figured practical learning was the best route to take, our protagonist for today is one such creature.

 **Dark Forests**

Deep within a grotto that had been secreted away from the beasts during the night a single figure sat at the fireside, the instant feature one would notice is the pelt of an Ursa slung over his head, falling down to his legs like a macabre cape, the beasts skull made a fine helmet, he just had to keep it away from high-intensity flames and it wouldn't burst into nothing.

That was a lesson learned through pain.

He was bare chested, revealing several small, faded scars all over his torso and a well kept frame. Not exactly rippling with enough muscle to mince meat but one could easily see the work he'd put in over the years his arms especially were very toned due to his weapon of choice. His hands and forearms were covered by black, clawed fur gloves. Sewing out here was a nightmare but it was easily done after so much practice. His pants appeared to be snake-skin, it worked to his aesthetic that all Grimm were black in colour, he'd look ridiculous with brightly coloured animal hide on him. His boots were made of leather, like his gloves and they too had fur at the top of them but that was more so his feet weren't rubbed raw from the leather.

All in all he looked like the picture of barbarism, the giant, wicked looking cleaver-axe hybrid at his side certainly helped in that respect. It started off a simple cleaver when he was quite young and he'd first made it, but after years of tinkering and upgrading he'd made it into a handheld warmachine. The way it worked was that is sucked blood into the core of the blade and converted the minerals in the blood to make the blade heavier, and denser so each consecutive strike was harder and had more crushing potential. It took him _months_ of study to actually get the blood-vacuum to work properly.

"Supplies are running low, should head on back to Vale..." Rumbled the barbarous man with a sigh, "Probably best to return to civilization anyway, been out here for what... 5 years? Hate to think what my old lady's gonna say." He hated to admit it but he did this entire thing mostly out of spite for the position his family needed him in, political reasons and such.

Nothing of great import, familial relations and all that jazz. If it was of utmost importance he'd never have left. "Ah well, this has been fun but I suppose being a nomad in the woods isn't exactly a life plan." With a sigh he grabbed his cleaver, shouldering it and grabbing the bag that held all his survival supplies, what he didn't pull off the land anyway. He fished out a small device, tapping the top it folded out into an orb with a tri-pod to hold it up, Menma tapped the top of the homing beacon and put in the call to return home.

"Saves me time I suppose." He thought aloud, running towards the nearest clearing and planting the beacon.

 **Nearby Bullhead.**

Team JNPR were in the cargo hold of their return trip Bullhead, happily basking in the afterglow of a job well done, hunting down a pack of Beowolf's from a town on the outskirts, mostly populated by Faunus incidentally. Getting started on their hunt was a bit more strenuous because of the tension their humanity caused amongst the populous.

Suddenly a loud beeping noise sounded from the front of the airship, "What's that?" Asked Jaune Arc, blond, spikey haired Knight, a traditional sword and board fighter, sporting white plated armour over his clothing, Jaune was the leader of team JNPR.

"A distress beacon from the forests below..." Answered the Pilot as a they were being hailed, "Hello? Are you the one who is using the beacon?" The Pilot asked.

"Yes, would it be too much trouble to catch a ride back to civilisation?" Asked the rough voice, politely.

"I'll need to confirm your identity sir." Said the Pilot. Information began flashing on the screen, the image of a red/black haired man appeared, a name scrolled up as did a few choice details. "Alright Mr. Uzumaki, keep your head low. We'll be landing soon."

"Thank you very much." Came the greatful voice as the transmission ended, the Pilot called to the team over the PA, "We'll be dropping course for a moment, we're picking up a distress beacon."

The only problem with making this much noise, from both the beacon and the Bullhead was that all the Grimm in the immediate area began to flock, Ursa, Beowolfs even a few young Stalkers.

The crew of the Bullhead came upon the sight of a man clad in a black pelt with a bloodied cleaver-shaped greatsword tearing through the horde of beasts, "We'll drop down and help him, open the hatch!" Shouted Jaune, his team prepping to land only for the man to stab his blade into the ground, pillars of red liquid began to shoot up into the air, and then break into serpentine tendrils, ripping through the Grimm waiting in the wings, the man roared with enough ferocity to scramble the pack.

They seemed to know better.

The Grimm fled and the man shouldered the blade, stepping back so the Bullhead could land, the cargo door opening, he was spotless of blood, but the ground was soaked. Pyrrah, Nora and Ren blinked in shock when he casually walked into the Bullhead and took a seat across from them, "Mornin'." He greeted with a wave as he set the blade down, a short girl with orange hair popped into existence next to him.

"Hey there I'm Nora, nice to meetcha! Wow that's a big sword! Look at those arms! Oh my dust this is so soft!" She began petting the pelt he wore over his head, Menma just rose a brow though he did enjoy the compliments, "Wow you have really pretty eyes, like little bits of molten gold I bet you could sell them for a bunch! But then you'd be blind and probably wouldn't be able to do that cool 'PILLAR OF BLOOD!' thing you did before, how _did_ you do that by the way?" He paused, not even slightly puffed from the tirade of questions, Menma liked this girl. She was a strange one but strange was fun if nothing else.

"Menma Uzumaki, pleasure." He offered his hand and she took it with a big grin, her teammates were gaping at the general lack of reaction this strange man had to their livewire of a teammate. "The pelt is off an Ursa Alpha I killed, tip, they're weak on their side, 'round about the third rib seems to be oddly soft so you can do some fatal damage if you get 'em there." Informed the man, Nora already had a little notepad out and jotted that down, not even wavering her stare from his.

"Thank you oh mighty bear man!" Nora said grandiously, Menma cracked a smile at that. Before something clicked into her head and the questions began again, "How come you were out there?"

"Personal reasons. Good fun though." He brushed off the question, he wasn't about to tell his life story to the first cute girl he saw.

"I'm sorry for Nora she can be a bit... energetic, I'm Lie Ren." Introduced the slothly youth, black hair with a pink streak, sporting a mostly green outfit, Menma only thought slothly because the boy had a very tired look on his face whilst the others all looked generally energized, so either he had a poor sleep or tired out quicker.

Then again sloths were adorable so he left it without a comment.

"No need to apologize, I just figure it's not something I should be spreading around. Though I do thank you for the pick up, and the pilots. Saved me waiting for someone else." He tipped the hard skull on his head like a hat and almost grinned when the blond boy cringed.

"How'd you manage to skin an Ursa Alpha so precisely?" Asked Nora, "I thought they had like _super_ tough skin."

"They do, but I don't carry a giant sword for no reason." He gestured to the wicked looking blade, still slightly damp from the blood it had accumulated.

"Savage." Chimed Nora with another grin.

"Indeed." He agreed, "Where are we headed by the by?" He asked absently, as though it just occurred to him.

"Back to Beacon Academy, we just finished a mission." Informed the firey redhead woman garbed in bronze coloured armour, and me oh my did she have some nice hair. "Pyrrah Nikos, by the way, nice to meet you." She smiled as he nodded.

"Oh? Students, interesting. What year are you?" Menma asked, suddenly very interested.

"First year." Spoke the blond, "Jaune Arc, and you are...?" Menma blinked for a moment before realization crossed his face.

"Oh I'm sorry was I mumbling again, Menma Uzumaki. I have a bad habit, comes with talking to myself a lot." He informed with a chuckle, Jaune sweated slightly at that.

"They say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness." Nora chimed in once more.

"Well willingly picking up the profession to hunt dangerous monsters for life isn't exactly sane either." He shot back, Nora feigned a wounding. Menma turned to them all, "So first years eh..? Mind if I ask you a question?" He asked, getting a few slightly confused looks but still Jaune spoke up.

"Uh, yeah sure." Eloquent.

"What is a Huntsman?" He asked, a critical gaze.

"Wait aren't you one?" Asked Pyrrah, beffudled.

"I am, but I'm asking you anyway." Acquiessed Menma, looking at them all expectantly.

"Well, someone who hunts the creatures of Grimm to protect people." Supplied Jaune easily, getting nods of accent from his team.

"Not wrong, but not correct either." Menma said, Jaune scrunched his face up, confused. "A hunter is little more than a glorified mercenary, taking money for jobs. Admittedly most of those jobs involve the Grimm in one way or another, but it's equally possible it won't. A hunter is a blade for hire, sold off to the highest bidder. That's not to say your idealism is wasted on the profession, as your choice of job is up to you. But this idea that we're defenders of the free world, selflessly sacrificing ourselves for the greater good is incorrect." He looked at them to see their skeptical expressions.

"You look like this is the first time someone has said something remotely like that before." He observed.

"Probably because it is." Pyrrah supplied.

Menma blinked before humming, "Well. Sorry about that, didn't mean to get all preachy on ya." With a shrug he pulled off his pelt-cape and shook out his flattened hair, it was black with red streaks it really made his molten gold coloured eyes pop. "Kinda bad at interacting nowadays, not so good with social norms." He continued, smiling lightly.

"It's an interesting way of looking at things, I'll say that." Ren admitted, "Sounds a little bleak I'll admit."

"Honestly it was a self-fulfilling conclusion." Menma informed, "My old man was a Hunter, I shadowed him a lot when I was young, he did everything from cleanup to paid killings."

"'Paid killings' sounds kind of ominous." Jaune said, wearily.

"Well when the government needs someone dead they'll usually either hire a hitman or a hunter." Menma informed.

"Wait what?!" Yelped the blond boy, Menma blinked in response.

"When the government needs someone dead they'll usually either hire a hitman or a hunter." Menma said it a little slower this time, the boy twitched.

"Not what I meant. I mean your father got paid to murder people and you're totally okay with that?"

"Well money is money, killing people isn't so far different from killing Grimm. From what I saw they just jump around a lot less."

"You were there!?"

"Could you please stop yelling, it's kinda hurting my ears." Menma requested, covering his ears.

"This is starting to get good." Nora said, buzzing with excitement. "What else happened?"

"Nora..." Ren Sighed.

"Nothing else really, I just helped my old man out with a few jobs, when I started training in proper he retired with my mother, and focused on raising the sprogs and helping me with my practice."

 **Beacon Academy.**

The rest of the trip was mostly awkward, apparently people didn't take kindly to the fact his father, and by proxy he, had been a contract killer on more than one ocassion.

Menma didn't really understand it, they were all murderers in one way or another, and usually hunters were more brutal with Grimm because they were 'monsters'. People could be equally monstrous to hungry beasts.

But that was neither here nor there, the Bullhead docked and the passengers were out in a few seconds, Team JNPR bidding the barbarous man farewell for now, Nora slipped him a little scrap of paper and winked impishly at him.

"She gave me her number... yeeeup. Still got it." He pulled out his scroll and put the number into his contacts list with a smug little smirk, the 'dangerous wilder' approach always worked on at least one woman. "Anyway, better go say hi to ol' Oz before heading home."

An on again off again acquaintance of his parents, Ozpin was the headmaster of Beacon Academy. Menma recalled on many occasions when his father would drop him off with the grey haired man because he and his mother were off killing bigguns, the pair got along well enough but his parents and the man always had a few moral disputes.

placing his pelt back on properly and shouldering his giant sword he began walking towards the academy while dialing a familiar number on his scroll, a light chime noise began to play until it was answered, "Hello? Ozpin speaking."

"Oz, it's Menma. I'm at your academy and I figured I'd drop in to say hi, you busy?" He asked with a chuckle at the sound of a coffee cup being dropped.

"Dust, Menma! It's been years how have you been!? Of course, I'll meet you outside just give me a moment." Menma grinned as the man hung up, he slid the scroll shut and slipped it into his bag, finding a seat near a fountain surrounded by a garden and figured it a nice enough spot.

Placing his cleaver against the wooden seat and pulling the hood of his pelt off he sighed contentedly, it was good to be back in civilisation again, at least he didn't have to be looking over his shoulder all the time for Grimm. Though the stares he was getting from a few students were hard to miss.

Closing his eyes he just let himself relax for a moment, "Umm... excuse me sir." Came a small voice.

Menma's eyes opened and he saw a young woman with dark hair, pale skin and bright silver coloured eyes. "How can I help you?" Menma asked, straightening his sitting position slightly.

"It's just that I've never seen you here before, which isn't hard as there's lots of people at Beacon but you _do_ kinda stick out and that sword is _enormous!_ So I was just wondering what you were doing sitting out by the fountain?"

"I'm just waiting for Ozpin, it's been a while since we saw one another and I figured it'd be good to catch up." Informed Menma, getting a nod of acknowledgement, her eyes kept darting between him and his weapon, "Hey." He snapped, without any force behind it, her attention firmly planted on him, "My eyes are up here, stop lookin' so lustfully at my big _sword_." Like he suspected the double entendre was lost on her and she just blushed at being caught in such an awkward manner.

"Sorry! I just really like seeing new weapons and I've never seen a sword that big before." She admitted awkwardly, "Oh! I'm Ruby by the way, Ruby Rose."

All of a sudden the red cape made so much more sense.

"Menma Uzumaki." He introduced with a slight tilt of his head, she gasped slightly.

"Are you related to the Uzumaki family that runs the weapons shop in Vale?" She asked quickly.

"I am, my father and mother run the business." Menma informed getting a squee in response.

"That's so cool! Your parents have such great style to their weapons, I got most of the smaller parts for Crescent Rose there." He pulled out a folded red rectangle, and in a few shifts of gears it extended into a wicked looking scythe, Menma whistled in appreciation.

"Not bad. Not bad at all." He praised, "This big bastard isn't anything overly special, just a heavy bit of sharpened metal that's _really_ good at killing things." He said tapping the sword with his knuckles.

"Really? I figured you'd add something a little... more to it. Not that there's anything wrong with it, it's a great weapon!" She quickly amended, Menma chuckled and waved her off.

"You're like a scared little bunny, I'm not gonna eat you... yet." Once more that went over her head but he was thoroughly amused, chuckling to himself. Ruby blinked cluelessly, "Ah, you're adorable. Don't worry I'm just kidding around with you, I keep my sword low-tech for a few reasons, the biggest one being that I like the look on peoples face when I whip it out."

"I imagine it's something like 'AHH GET RUN FOR THE HILL!'." She gave a mock scream of terror, getting another few chuckles from him, and a nod.

"Pretty much that, yes." Menma said, amused.

"That does seem to be the usual approach you take." A familiar voice called, Menma looked over his shoulder to see a grey haired man with glasses and a cane in his hands, he grinned, hopped up and over the bench before walking towards the man with open arms.

"Oz! It's been a while, how are ya?" He greeted, the man returned the hug and pat the younger man's back with a chuckle.

"I've been well, though where exactly _have_ you been? Galavanting in the forests again?" Ozpin assumed, and was correct in that assumption.

"Indeed, Miss Rose and I were just discussing my _giant sword_ when you turned up, I suppose it's not proper to speak about such things with an audience though."

"None of that with my students young man." Snapped Ozpin with a narrow gaze, Menma's grin turned wolfish, "Miss Rose why don't you go find your team, It's been a long time since I saw my dear friend and I'd like to catch up with him uninterrupted." Ozpin asked, Menma could see the annoyance on the man's face and only found joy from it, Ruby nodded with a smile on her face.

"It was nice meeting you Menma!" She chirped before zipping off, Menma and Ozpin took a seat on the bench.

"So, what have you been doing?" Ozpin asked.

"Galavanting in the forests." Menma answered with a smile, pulling up the pelt, the head of the Ursa getting an appraising eye from the Headmaster, "To be honest though I just wanted to get away from it all, mum and dad are fine raising the sprogs and I wanted time to myself."

"Three years of silence is a long time, Menma." Ozpin said.

"I've been in the forests for five years actually, I just stopped contacting everyone after two because I had to do less and less supply runs." Ozpin sighed, "Well I'm sorry I just didn't want to end up with some prissy little sow because mummy dearest is friends with her mother."

"Surely she wasn't being serious." Ozpin assured only to be with a deadpan stare.

"The crazy woman was having a _contract_ drawn up, the girl was barely breaking double digits when I was 12. That's not the only reason of course, it'd be ridiculous if it was, but it one of the main ones." Explained Menma, "Independence was another, I wanted time to figure myself out, what I want out of life, who I am. That kinda stuff, and I wanted to do it away from the hustle and bustle of bullshit. Like money, I fucking _hate_ money. Such a pain in the ass to get, going into the woods and living off shit that I kill was _much_ easier."

"How so?" Ozpin asked, he had to admit he was quite curious about this.

"Well if I'm hungry I hunt something, I kill it, cook it and eat it. That's it for the day, aside from contemplating my own existence and killing Grimm that was all I had to do. It was actually quite cathartic, all the stress of the outside world just falling away." He sighed serenly, "I'll admit I'm a complete piece of shit for just up and running off like that, not gonna deny it for a second but I stand by my decision."

"You always have been a very interesting person, Menma." Observed Ozpin with a shake of his head, "Still, seeing you here reminds me of when you were young and you'd show up on my doorstep, bored out of your mind and demand my time."

"That is exactly what I've done now, some things never change, Oz." Menma added, much to the older man's amusement, "I'm glad I came back though, it's about time I got outta that forest and back to reality."

"Does that mean you're going to start wearing proper clothes again?" The Headmaster asked with a smirk.

"Ha! Good one, no." Menma said with a smile before turning flat, "Pants and shoes, yes. Shirts feel uncomfortable and this pelt, feel it Oz. Oh it's sho shoft... Oh hello Mr. Oz. I am a pelt and a paw, rawr." Menma's voice heightened in pitch but dropped in volume as he picked up one of the paws on the pelt and began poking Ozpin with the dead bears claw-less paw.

"You're ridiculous." Muttered the Headmaster, a large smile working its way onto his face as the dead pelt paw kept tapping at his cheek, he broke finally and began laughing loudly, Menma followed suit as mirth poured off them both.

"Oh bloody fuck I missed you, Oz." Menma said, throwing an arm over the man's shoulder and giving him a half-hug, the pair shook off their remaining laughter before sitting quietly.

"I don't suppose you'd be interested in passing on those survival skills of yours, would you?" Ozpin asked, raising a brow.

"If you're asking what I think you're asking, yes. BUT! I want creative freedom over how I _drill_ lessons into them." Menma wiggled his eyebrows whilst Ozpin curled his lip in annoyance.

"Still tarty as ever." The grey haired man commented.

" _Ozpin_ I am no _tart!_ Sir I am a chaste and noble gentlemen." Menma replied, placing a hand over his heart and acting as offended as possible.

"The sheer amount of bullshit you're dribbling right now could be used to fertalize every garden on campus." Sniped the older man.

"Shots fucking fired." The barbarous hunter commented with a laugh.

 _ **End**_

 **So that's it for now folks. I hope you enjoyed the groundwork. Also the whole 'saying without saying it' thing I'm going for, just take a look at it again if you need to.**

 **It's not some grandiose thing I just think it's nifty.**

 **Anyway, if you liked it tell me, if you didn't tell me, if you're a dog secretly using a computer, pics or it didn't happen.**

 _ **Raxychaz!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Guest: Smut comes to those who wait, good sir. I'm not writing a porno script, I have** _ **some**_ **self respect XD.**

 **Dustier7: Not hard to write better than Miles and Kerry, shots fucking fired.**

 **Amused Archer: That was fucking dark, I loved it. From what I've heard/seen the guy just didn't accept criticism of his brain-child so I imagine anything against it causes him to roll.**

 **Extreme-UnDEAD: My drill is the drill to pierce that virginal young maiden! Ha!**

 **Thank you all you little cherubs who reviewed, much love. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well. First few will be mostly about establishing characters, smut will be coming soonish but not right away, gird your loins.**

 **START!**

 **Survival 101; 2:30 PM**

Menma sat in his classroom, awaiting his charges arrival. It was a rather run of the mill amphitheater styled room with rows and desks, the usual stuff. Menma had still forgone a shirt but did wear baggy jeans and sneakers in place of his leather pants and boots. It was heaven to be back in baggy pants again, tripp pants were what they were 'offically' called, to him they were fucking amazing pants and that was it.

The bell sounded so he expected them to begin arriving soon, his pelt firmly in place. If nothing else it was because he'd gotten so used to wearing it that he felt naked without it. Waiting for it to dry after washing it was _super_ awkward for him.

Kids began to mosey on in slowly, Menma pulled his legs off the table and sat quietly until they were all asses in seats. Pulling his skull down slightly he put his game face on, his mouth set into a small frown and his mind clearing of all social graces and politeness.

"Welcome, children. To Survival 101. I'll be your instructor, you may address me as Menma or Mr. Uzumaki, either suits me fine." He said, as they had begun chatting amongst themselves, he silenced them the second he began speaking, the class was almost full a few were either late or just didn't show up, this irked him somewhat but he'd deal with it in a few moments. He walked in front of his desk and leant against it, arms crossed over his chest.

"Now that basic overview is that this class is going to teach you how to avoid dying from avoidable things like starvation, thirst and ambushes, that being said I'll be covering almost everything that a Hunter does, because without the information I'm sure at least one of you will be dead before the year ends."

"Optimistic guy..." Muttered a voice, Menma's sharp ears caught it and his gaze locked dead on to a particular blonde girl, molten gold met light purple and his frown turned into a snarl.

"Something to offer to the class, Miss Xiao Long?" He snapped with a growl, the girl sweated slightly at being caught and waved off the accusation quickly, he'd taken to looking at the possible 'problem children' that may be in his class, and committing their names to memory.

"No nothing at all." Sheepishly she sunk into her chair a little more.

"I'll be taking attendance, so when you hear your name call out." Pretty standard stuff, everyone but a miss 'Blake Belladonna' and the familiar name of 'Jaune Arc' were present and accounted for, "Well that's their problem, and I do enjoy being a problem." He amused himself with his little punishment plans and set his scroll down on the table.

"Now before I begin is there any questions you have regarding the subject?" Menma asked, once more leaning against this desk.

"What's with the animal skin?" Asked a voice, a Mr. Cardin if he was correct. Young man, rather tall, short orange-brown hair and grey eyes. As all of them, he sported a uniform, dark brown blazer over a white shirt with slacks, the girls had the option of a skirt.

"It's an Ursa Alpha pelt, I kill it, and skinned it. Initially it was something to sleep on but during the winter I got so used to wearing it I never bothered to stop wearing it. Anything else?" Cardin seemed satisfied, and a little impressed with the answer, if the giant cleaver behind his desk was anything to go by this guy meant business.

"How come we're only starting this class a month into attending?" Ms. Weiss Schnee, Menma turned to the pale girl with white hair and answered, Menma remembered the name Schnee all too well. Though it seemed she either couldn't recognize him, or forgot him. Both worked to his advantage, he hadn't seen or heard from Weiss in many years.

"Because up until a few days ago I was sitting about in the woods killing Grimm. Ozpin figured the knowledge I'd hoarded over my years in said woods would be of use to the students here." Menma supplied gesturing to the aforementioned pelt.

"So you aren't qualified to teach?" The girl pressed.

"I'm qualified to tell you how to avoid being caught by a pack of stalkers, how to live off the land and how to build shelter out of an Ursa carcass. I'm teaching how to _survive_. Miss Schnee. So yes, I am qualified to teach you." Weiss recoiled at the Ursa part, but with flat and rough manner of how he rebuked her sufficiently shut her up.

"Sorry I'm late!" Called Jaune's voice from the entrance. Disheveled and puffed, Menma leant off the desk and walked towards him, "Oh hey, Menma. What're you doing here?" He asked obliviously, rubbing his neck nervously.

"I'm teaching. Now Mr. Arc, is there a reason you're late to my class?" Jaune felt very small all of a sudden.

"I uh..."

"Use your words Mr. Arc." Ordered Menma, the boy leant forward and whispered to him.

"Look I'm really sorry It won't happen again, I just _really_ had to use the bathroom and it took way longer than I thought."

"Fair enough." Menma said, Jaune slackened and sighed in relief, "You'll still be punished, but I can appreciate the dilemma, so it'll be lighter than before. You haven't missed anything of significance anyway, take your seat Mr. Arc. And we'll begin." Menma went back to his desk and pressed a button, blinders dropped over the windows and a projector started up, "First we'll start with the things you're most likely to encounter, ease you into the subject." He pressed another button and a picture of a faunus and a human appeared.

"As young impressionable children I'll try to keep this light, you'll be fighting either humans or faunus during your first few years, aside from trials it pretty rare to be sending a bunch of kids out to hunt down Grimm." A hand raised.

Menma sighed at being interupted already, "Yes, Ms. Schnee."

"What does this have to do with survival?" Weiss asked.

"If you shut your trap and let me continue you'd find out." Menma snapped with a growl, Weiss looked ready to continue but he just boomed out the next part of his lecture. "As I was saying, humans and faunus are close in nature biologically speaking but there are a few key differences." The skin on the pictures was removed to show muscle structure and the like.

"Faunus have much sturdier musculature to your average human, they can move faster, hit harder and see in the dark, enhanced senses and such. With exception to that last part, each human has the ability to gain advantage over their kin through training, but faunus have an easier starting point, shall we say." He paced back and forth slightly before continuing.

"They have a key weakness though, unlike humans faunus are very sensitive to high-pitched noise due to their enhanced senses, as with flashbangs due to their eyes. If you aim to disable use a noise emitter and you'll find victory easily won, if you seek to kill it's a good way to get the critical advantage." Menma returned to leaning against his desk as he looked them all over.

"Now all of this works against humans as well, but like I said it's better used against our more bestial kinsmen." A few curled their lips at his manner of referring to the faunus, he didn't really care he called it like he saw it plus he was allowed to say that, for reasons. "Humans are an easier target in general though, bullets, blades and blunt force trauma are usually easy ways to put someone down. They're humans not much to say on them, we all know how to break someone." He said, flippantly, getting vacant stares in response.

"Right I guess you don't. Okay the easiest way to disable a human is to strike the back of their knee, that forces them to kneel, after that if you've got a knife grab the back of their head and stab into the throat, drag it across until their throat is more like soggy meat than anything else." He informed, shock was his response.

"Alright moving onto Grimm..."

The lecture went pretty well, he'd drilled the basics into them. Like how Ursa's hate fire and depending on their age their ribs were their weakest point, Beowolfs hate ice and bladed weaponry works best against them, Stalkers are quick but fragile so lighter weapons work best against them.

Simple stuff for their first lesson. Jaune stayed after class, "Right so you'll be doing drills with me until you learn to never show up late to my class again." Jaune figured he could have had worse from a man that could apparently kill him at the drop of a hat. "Like I said, nothing too terrible since you didn't miss anything." Menma pat the boy on the back before collecting his things from his desk.

"It could be worse." Admitted Jaune, audibly instead of just thinking it. He figured he'd offer something to the potential conversation with the admittedly interested man.

"Exactly, see. Bright side'll keep ya sane." Menma assured with a good natured smile, as he and Jaune began walking the halls, he kept his eyes out for a certain dark haired girl, no one skipped his fucking class and got away with it.

Menma guided Jaune towards the gym and placed his weapon next to his back against the wall, pelt firmly in place. "Alright kiddo, now I want you to do 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, 100 squats, and run around the gym 20 times. Alright? Alright!" Ordered Menma rubbing his hands together, watching the colour drain from the boys face. "I said it'd be a light punishment remember that." Jaune set to work, he was in his uniform so he thanked the the stars above that he wasn't wearing his armour. He took off his blazer and set to work, push ups first as his time with a sword and shield had giving him passable upper body strength.

Menma sat and watched for a few moments before beginning his own exercise, since he needed to work on them, he began doing leg presses. Always keeping an eye on Jaune, "Don't forget to breath, kiddo." Instructed Menma, he saw the red faced look and knew it well he used to make the same mistake.

"Trying... failing!" Grunted out the boy. Menma chuckled as he pushed the weights more and more.

"Fail less then. I'll grind you to dirt and remake you if I have to but you _will_ complete your punishment." Snapped the Uzumaki with a frown. Jaune griped and complained but at least the boy didn't slow down, that was one conciliation. Jaune looked up to see his new teacher doing leg presses with a small cylindrical tub of ice-cream in his hand, "Salted Caramel, delicious."

Wait when did Nora get here, she too had a little tub and was sitting on his weights while he worked out, "So then I hit it _really_ hard in the head with my hammer and it went _**splat!**_ It was awesome!" She informed.

"N-Nora!? When did you get here?" Jaune asked, befuddled.

"When you started doing your sit ups silly, wow talk about zoning out." Nora chided with a shake of her head as she threw another spoonful into her mouth, Jaune felt his stomach cramp up when he got to sit up number thirty-one.

"If you aren't up in three seconds I'll reset the counter." At the shout of his teacher Jaune was up and on his way to thirty-two in a heartbeat.

"So this is where you ran off to." Came the voice of Pyrrah, Ren with her as he blinked blearily, from the looks of it the boy must have used the time slot Menma's class took up to have a power-nap. "One look at your scroll and off you went, came to see Jaune suffer, Nora?" The amazon asked with an amused smile on her face.

"Nah, I came to talk to Teddy." Nora dismissed with a wave of her hand, "That and he texted me." He held up her scroll with a grin, "So I came with ice-cream!"

"Am I to assume this nickname came from the fact I wear a bear?"

"There be the were-bear!" Chimed the orangette, "Watch it stare at the fair mare and her lovely hair!" Nora flicked her hair with a giggle at Menma's chuckle.

"You were a poet and I didn't even know it."

"Please don't encourage her." Lamented Lie with a sigh and a facepalm.

"That negative attitude is really bringing down the mood, Lie Ren. Tsk tsk tsk." Menma chastised with a shake of the head, "Alright Nora, hop off I'm done for now." The orangette did so with a flourish, Menma set the press and got off, turning to sit and give his legs a moment to recuperate.

"Get them squats goin' boyo, buns of steel!" Ordered Menma as Jaune had taken a few seconds to gather himself, he coloured with embarrassment as all eyes came to him. "Alright, Pyrrah I leave his remaining punishment exercise to you, he's got 90 of those left and then 20 laps around the gym." He stood up and collected his belongings, patting the redhead on the shoulder as he left.

"Yes sir."

"Atta girl."

 **Menma's Room; 4:00 PM**

Nothing too fancy but it was his new little home, more akin to an apartment than a simple room but he liked it. Honestly he felt a little bad with how he almost seemed to be milking all the stuff he could out of his relationship with Ozpin but then he realized he just had to put his all into teaching these kids and it'd be a paid off investment.

Menma pulled off his pelt and set the giant length of beast hide down, pulling his scroll out of his bag and walking into the bathroom, he kicked his shoes off and turned on the shower, before composing a quick message to his family, " _Not dead. At Beacon, got a job teaching. I'll visit during the break_." There that seemed sufficient enough, he slipped his pants and underwear off before stepping into the shower. Such soothe, much relax.

Wow.

It's a shower, what'd you expect?

Currently seated at the foot of his bed Menma was drying his hair off, his Ursa pelt hung up on the small balcony he had, drying in the sun. It wasn't exactly hard to wash, Grimm didn't emit odor unless they were fresh off a hunt. Ursa specifically seemed to have little to no scent to them, it was a fucking nightmare to track them due to that little tidbit. It made it perfect clothing as his own smell faded from it pretty quickly.

Either way, he just gave it a bit of a spray and a rub down before hanging it outside.

A knock at his door alerted him to company, he grabbed a fresh chance of stuff to wear before grabbing one of the many copies of tripp pants, he came fucking prepared. And dipping into a bank account that had been building interest for 8 years was a fucking great idea.

8 years because he didn't have access to it when he was young, so whenever he _did_ get money he got his parents to store it away for him, past Menma was a smart little cookie.

"Come in." He said after zipping up his fly. The door opened to reveal Glynda Goodwitch, blonde and curvaceous as ever. Piercing green eyes behind a pair of glasses, he vaguely remembered her and Oz having a fling at some point if memory served. "Something I can do for you Miss. Goodwitch?" He asked casually, placing his cleaver on his desk along with his bag.

"I just came to check in, to see how you've settled and how your first day went." Glynda informed, clipped and business like, just as he recalled. Maybe his memory for things outside of grimm wasn't as bad as he remembered.

"Ah, that's fine. The idea for today was to just introduce them to the basics, and by proxy my methods." Menma explained easily as he sat at his desk and began pawing over the blade, drawing lines a few centimeters away from the edge.

"Apparently you pulled Mr. Arc off to the gym?" More of a question than anything else.

"Yes, he arrived late so I gave him a light punishment, kid seems to stumble over himself so a bit of routine may help him in the long run. If he figures out to stick with it." Glynda nodded before she noticed the dark look on his face, "Little miss Belladonna is going to get quite the fucking grilling when she finally shows up though."

Glynda frowned at the course language but couldn't exactly blame him, she got quite irate when her classes were skipped. "I'll leave her punishment in your capable hands then, have a good day Menma... it's good to see you again."

"And you Glynda." He smiled and nodded in her direction as she departed, he'd only met her a few times during his youth when he stayed with Ozpin, so she was probably happy to see him due to the joy it may have brought the older man.

Menma pulled a book from his bag and jotted down a few ideas, "Adding a chainsaw mode to the blade would really improve the amount of murder I could put out... Hm, oh duh Menma this is perfect." He pushed his chair from the desk and rolled towards the bathroom plucking his scroll from basin of the sink and rolling back as he rolled through contact information of his student.

" _Ruby, I have a little weapon idea I'd like to bounce off you. If you've got time feel free to head over to my room. -Menma U._ " He sent that off with a contact request, so she could track his scroll for the exact location. Almost immediately the request was answered with an affirmative and he saw her dot fly across campus.

"Sweet dust, short, pale with bright eyes. I will enjoy this more than I have an right to." he chuckled to himself, he'd slutted it up a bit when he was younger, graced as he was with his good looks and better genes he found it quite easy to pick up. When he dedicated himself to the hunt he'd stopped that almost entirely, but there was nothing against student-teacher relations.

Want proof? Ozpin and Glynda. He's older than he looks. Not _that_ much older mind you, but still, Ol' Oz got that blondie good when she was a student and he was just a teacher.

Anyway, the point Menma was trying to make is that he's within legal rights to pursue a relation with anyone in the school, which was rad.

A knock sounded, and before he could even say anything a very excited Ruby burst in, hair slightly messy from the run over here, cape missing but she _did_ bring her scythe. "Shall we?" He asked with a chuckle as she nodded so fast it was a shock she didn't get whiplash, Menma grabbed her a chair and couldn't fight off the amusement as she sidled up next to him in front of his cleaver.

"Right so my idea is to turn the edges of my sword into a chainsaw-like revolving circuit, and put a dust socket into the centre, ya'know make it so I could set it on fire, swathe in lightning or create tornadoes with a swing." Ruby started drooling at 'chainsaw'.

 **Menma's Room; 11:30 PM**

The pair had ordered a pair of pizzas, delivered via drone, and stayed up talking about the intricacies of turning the edges into a spinning death-rail, and then the complicated process it would take to install a miniature engine core into the centre of the blade to house the dust gems that'd have to be placed within, after explaining the blood vacuum to her he performed a specific set of actions that led to the blade popping apart revealing a suction based centre that would hold the blood and feed it into the metal.

The blade itself was forged of 'Vampire Iron' as it was called. That's what allowed it to drink the minerals out of the blood stored within. His vacuum just kept it all there to feed it a consistent amount. "So if we take out this... and put in the dust core it should work fine, but what about the stabilizers? Will there be enough room?" Ruby asked, between bites, pepperoni.

Menma rolled up his slice and devoured it in two dense bites, meat lovers. "Yeah, if I can make it small enough it won't be an issue to fit the core stabilizers in, don't want it blowing up on us, eh?" He chuckled at her grimace, a small thought bubble of a chibified Ruby watching as a Chibified Menma's sword exploded, the chibi-Menma lost his arms.

Shaking her head clear she, pondered over the rough schematic they'd drawn up. "This is really amazing for only a nights work." Ruby admitted.

"Why of course, _we_ worked on it." Menma scoffed, fake smugness oozing from him much to the Roses amusement. "I enjoyed this Ruby, we should do it again soon."

"I'd love to! But you only have the one weapon there's only so many modifications we could make to it." Menma chuckled at her slightly oblivious nature.

"No I mean hanging out, I enjoy your company. Weapon upgrades notwithstanding I've had a great time tonight." _Now_ she seemed to catch on, cheeks dusting a little pink out of embarrassment, "If you're okay with it, that is." It was generally good practice to give people an out.

"I'd like that." She answered, looking down at her pizza with a shy little smile.

Hook. Line.

Fucking. Sinker!

Now as scummy as that may sound, Menma did actually like the young miss, but he also liked the idea of ravishing her quite a lot as well. It was just a huge bonus that she was quite the smart cookie when it came to weapons.

At that moment, Ruby's scroll chimed, "Oh, it's Yang... Oh wow... that's a lot of capital letters."

"Angry teammate?" Menma asked with a cocked brow.

"Angry sister." Amended Ruby, Menma 'ah'ed in acknowledgement before closing his notebook and setting it onto the desk, closing his pizza box and putting it in the fridge in his little kitchen, "I'll walk you back to your room. I suppose I owe you that much, I have kept you for quite a while." Once more Ruby got a little red, most likely out of loosing track of time with a guy as her only company.

"Thank you."

 **End**

 **Like I said, hope you enjoyed.**

 **If ya did, tell me. If you didn't tell me, one guy did but he called me 'Thrash' instead of 'Trash' so I kindly corrected him. Nothing back yet.**

 **If you're a bear riding a unicycle, pics or you dindu nuffin.**

 _ **Raxychaz!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Guest (1): Come on you can't just throw all that shade without leaving a username, that's just not fair. But seriously there's a 5chan? Isn't there already like 4 and 8 why the fuck would they need a third one?**

 **Guest (2): Not so much a history so much as Jaune just being kinda spineless from my first impression of him, so I'm just working with that idea and then building the character from there. So he just kinda goes with whatever Menma's wants from him for the time being.**

 **Pheonix Paladin: That'll be adressed for sure, so don't worry about it. No baiting out lovely protagonist to jail will happen. Chris Hensen isn't gonna show up and ask him to 'Take a seat over here'. Funny as that would be.**

 **DarkbladerX666: They may in cannon, but TBH I stopped watching that garbage pretty quickly. It's got great fanfic potential but I just can't punish myself with the source material. Long story short, not in this story.**

 **Also the timeline is just after the teams have formed, I'm taking a more 'learn through doing' sort of thing with the characters, thus why Team JNPR were off on a hunt so soon after forming.**

 **Start!**

 **Survival 101; 2:20 PM (Friday)**

Once more seated behind his desk Menma looked at the lesson plan he'd hashed out this morning, satisfied he pulled out his tablet and started catching up on the new show's he'd been missing out on with all his time in the woods.

"One Punch Man... now you've got my attention." He muttered and went to the nearest streaming site he could find and started watching, the noise pouring into his earbud, eyes occasionally darting up to see how many kids had piled into class, still a few more to go.

He released a chuckle when Saitama smacked Vaccine Man like a bitch, but he had to pause and get back to his job because the last people had come in. "Good afternoon everyone." Greeted Menma as he pulled his earbud out and set the tablet down, he began calling attendance this time everyone was present, even little miss Belladonna.

Thankfully everyone got his message to wear their combat attire and bring their weapons, for later.

"Before we being, Ms. Belladonna can you explain to me and the class why you weren't present yesterday." Menma asked crossing his arms and setting his scroll down, Blake looked a little put out with the sudden attention focused on her. "We're all very excited to hear your reason, Ms. Belladonna. Try to make it a good one."

Blake looked down, "I didn't know the class was on until the session was half way finished. So I just didn't show up."

"So you chose cowardice over just facing up to being late and accepting the punishment?" Menma asked dryly, Blake coloured with shame, "See me after class." The bear growled as he picked up the paper he wrote out the schedule out on.

"You can't just insult someone like that, teacher or not!" Yang exploded, slamming her fist against her desk.

"I can and will, Ms. Xiao Long. Now sit your ass down or you can share the punishment." Menma said disinterestedly, Yang refused to sit until she felt her teachers gaze lock onto hers, his eyes took a red hue for a moment and she felt her body become incredibly heavy, she fell into her seat and heard the chair creak beneath her, he looked away with a satisfied smirk on his lips, serving only to anger Yang further.

"Now, a quick summary... Mr. Winchester, how does one disable a Beowolf quicky?" Menma asked.

Cardin stood up and answered, "By striking their elbow to force them down and then a swift blow to the head with a blunt weapon, or by cutting their tail and using that as a distraction to stab their spine, Sir." Menma nodded, satisfied with the answer.

"Very good, Cardin... Jaune can you tell me how you could go about disabling a fellow hunter?" Menma asked, Jaune paused to think for a moment.

"Overloading their Aura shield with a heavy hit before opening their guard with my shield and then a blow to the back of the head to knock them out?" Menma paused for a moment, running the scenario in his head, before smiling.

"Well done. But how would you accomplish this heavy hit? You personally." Menma asked further.

"By... Oh a hit to the back because most people front-load their shields consciously!" Menma nodded with a grin.

"See you _were_ learning something, I knew you weren't just pretty face." Jaune burned and chuckled at the jest, something he did learn about the senior hunter was that he liked to flirt with anyone if he could get a joke out of it.

"That's yet to be proven." Nora chimed, getting another laugh from the teacher, she made finger guns and went, "Pew-pew! Shots fired!"

A few bubbles of laughter covered the room, Menma shook his head, "Alright bring it back down. Alright final question... Ruby, how does one disable a faunus?" Blake blinked at the question.

"Sensory overload, like a flashbang or a high-pitched noise." He nodded, Blake continued to look surprised at the question.

"Confused Ms. Belladonna? This is why we attend class to learn. Get notes of yesterday from one of your teammates." He ordered, Yang, who was sitting aside the girl, turned out to be unreliable in this case as her book was filled mostly with nonsense.

"Today we'll be covering the other species of Grimm and then how to prepare their meat safely." Menma said.

And so he did, the other species numbering in the dozens, a few of the more common ones being the 'Shade' a chameleon-like Grimm that stunned with paralytic bacteria on its tongue, Shades being one of the few Grimm that eat things besides meat, there was a fruit called 'Eel Eyes' that had such properties. Usually used in tranquilizers and such.

Another would be the Rex, as one would expect, it was a suped up Tyrannosaurus Rex. Coated in thick plates from birth and with a set of deathly powerful pearly whites, the Rex is capable of ripping buildings apart with minimal effort, they were _not_ to be trifled with. Menma had only found and killed a handful in all his years, and that was after months of actively hunting them.

"Alright to finish this off we'll see how well you've taken my lessons. Ms. Belladonna, would you care to come down here. With your weapon." Menma left his own where it lay, against the wall, and protective fields opened up in front of the students.

Blake came down Gambol Shroud in her hand, Menma stood across from her, "All you need to do is attempt to disable me before I do you." He said simply, Blake had the feeling that was easier said than done, this guy already had weight and strength on her, so she needed to outspeed him and hit where it hurt.

Menma gestured her on, Blake began melting in and out of sight with her Shadow taking her place occasionally and prepared to strike the teacher, Menma waited, and listened. He felt the air being cut and moved out of the way, as he did so Menma threw his arm back and ended up striking Blake's clone, in a flash she was behind him and struck him in the back of the leg, Menma smirked but rolled away before she could do anything more, she was definitely faster than him at the moment.

With a flash of red in his eyes he heard her stifle a gasp and quickly blurred into her personal space with an elbow to the gut he made the wind leave her lungs, switching feet he kicked into the back of her leg and forced her to kneel but instead of grabbing her hair had tore the bow free from her head.

The class took a moment to register what they saw.

Cat ears.

There was a very small part of Menma that took an almost sexual pleasure from the amount of schadenfreude he was experiencing right now. Apparently his hunch was correct, sharp eyes could spot a twitching bow, that and the way she reacted to the mention of taking out a faunus.

"That is how you disable someone, Ms. Belladonna. Though I will say your speed is impressive, with a bit of weight training to strengthen your blows I don't see why you couldn't be taking out people with much more meat on their bones." He pulled her to her feet, she was staring at the floor, thoroughly shamed, patting her back and offering her the bow back he said, "You can take your seat now. Jaune, Cardin would you two care to show how you would do it?" Cardin immediately stood up while Jaune hesitated but did so.

Jaune pulled his sword out and transformed his sheath into its shield form, Cardin had a big fuckoff mace. "Alright now, no flashy stuff just weapons." Ordered Menma, the two boys nodded, Cardin went in first hard and heavy, Jaune hopped back before shouldering into a shield slam, Cardin winced but slammed back just as hard making Jaune falter, with the time given Cardin struck Jaune's shield arm and sent his opponent back.

"We're not here to wave dicks boys, just go in for the disable." Reminded Menma as he kept his arms crossed and watched from his desk, Cardin nodded as Jaune rose.

"Right, sorry sir." The smirk on his lips told Menma Cardin wasn't exactly sorry so much as he was put out for being called on it.

"Yeah." Jaune muttered, seeing his teachers eyes on him Jaune tried his damndest to draw out as much of his willpower as he could, he may have joined Beacon under false pretenses, and given a leadership role he still wasn't sure of, but he'd be fucking damned if he made a fool out of himself by losing to _Cardin_ of all people.

Something about the guy just rubbed him the wrong way.

Jaune went in with his shield up, eager to end this quickly, Cardin expected this and moved to trip Jaune, but what he didn't expect was for the boy to have lured him into a feint, Jaune slid around Cardin's guard and struck him with all he had on the back with his sword, Cardin flinched and grunted as the pain registered, Jaune once more slammed his shield into the taller male, this made Cardin stumble more, Jaune kicked him in the back of the leg and placed his sword against the back of his neck.

" _Holy shit I did it!_ " Exclaimed Jaune and a clapping sounded, the smiling face of their teacher was found.

" _Very_ well done boys, Cardin I suggest not putting all your weight behind your swings so much, but good job on reacting to Jaune's charge so quickly. Jaune, wonderful use of your lighter weapon and superior maneuverability, that feint was well played. The only thing I can say from that little bout would be to not hesitate so much, you need to put more confidence into your movements." Cardin got up and grunted at Jaune, a small nod in the shorter males direction, Jaune collapsed his shield and slid his sword in, grinning like a fool.

"Good job bud." Whispered Menma, getting an ever wider grin from the younger man.

He drilled the rest of the students, most of them got the idea this wasn't combat class pretty quickly. For the moment anyway, if their shoddy stances were anything to go by these kids fought almost exclusively with humans, fine for now but in the long run they needed to be able to move at a moment notice if they were to succeed.

 **Class End; 4:00 PM**

Menma bid his students goodbye, "Jaune go do your sets, Cardin do some cardio in full armour to grow numb to the weight, Weiss less flare a rapier is useless unless you use the speed to your advantage more. Yang, less theatrics. Just punch. Nora try to stop spazzing out so much and strike with more precision, take Ren to do cardio. Your stamina is shocking, mate. Ruby go with Jaune and get swol, you're a bit on the shorter side so you gotta compensate by being dense. Pyrrha, good work. Gotta loosen up your footing though, you've got boots on not cement blocks. Dove same as Cardin, Sky I wanna see more force behind those blows young man, Russel commit less to each strike, daggers are meant to be fast not heavy." He gave each of the kids a little nugget of advice as they left the room, until it was only himself and Blake.

The black haired faunus looked visibly shaken by the quick manner in which her secret was revealed. "Alright, explain. What's the _real_ reason you weren't here yesterday." Menma ordered, leaning against the front of his desk, arms crossed.

Blake just kept looking down, "Look this whole mysterious dark woman thing you're going for isn't gonna fuckin' fly with me, so come clean or I'll keep this going until you do." Feline eyes locked with molten, a silent battle of wills, fragile as she was at the moment Blake lost.

"Before it became what it is today, I was apart of the White Fang..." She waited for him to interrupt her, but he just kept staring blankly, "I was contacted by one of them yesterday and I just didn't want to deal with anything else, so I skipped half the day. It's easier to tell the others I just forget and got cold feet than it is to tell the truth." Blake explained, ears flat against her head as he sighed forlornly. Pointedly ignoring the almost bored look on her newest teachers face.

"Very well." Menma said, she snapped back up and looked at him. "That's a good enough reason. If it happens again though, if you're even a little bit late, I will bend you over my knee and spank you in front of everyone." Blake blinked slowly before her face flushed, his tone was quite serious even if it was extremely inappropriate.

Said the girl who reads porn.

"Yes... Mr. Uzumaki." Menma nodded before gathering his things.

"C'mon we're going to gym." Blake sighed silently but followed, this was probably more of her punishment.

"I'm surprised you took it so well..." Blake muttered, feeling almost naked with her ears exposed, she went to put her bow back in only for a hand to snatch it away and for it to suddenly burn to cinders, the molten gold eyes of the taller of the two stared at her boredly as he dusted his hands off.

"Consider this part of your punishment as well, you can keep your personal lies. But something as trivial as cat ears, isn't worth the stress." Blake wanted to grill him about how that wasn't his choice but knew it'd be pointless, so just sighed and took it.

 **Menma's Room; 6:00 PM**

Laying on his bed in a pair of pajama shorts, his pelt hanging over the chair in front of his desk, Menma sat with his tablet on his chest, happily watching more of 'One Punch Man'. He'd had Blake run the same drills as Jaune, but double. Because he was an ass, though he didn't dislike the sight of Ruby and Blake doing squats.

"Hehe..." A grin forced its way to his lips at that little image burned into his mind.

"Mumen Rider, eh?" He said as a young man in brown body armour on a bicycle of all things came to defend the people from a band of armoured thugs, "Oh shit son." Only to be knocked the fuck out by a power-armour punch to the head. "Poor bastard."

A small chain of knocks rung from his door, Menma rose a brow but sat up, and walked towards the door, episode paused for now. "Yessum?" He asked, opening the door to see a familiar orangette wearing a suspicious brown coat. "Oh hello, Nora. What can I do for ya?"

"Do me!" Ordered Nora, tearing the coat open to reveal her naked body. Menma took a moment to process this, the grin on the odd girls face didn't falter whatsoever as he drank in her figure.

Opening and closing his mouth a few times he shook his head, "I'm not even gonna question it, c'mon." With a cry of victory Nora leapt onto him and locked her legs behind his back, throwing the door closed and licking at his neck.

" _So this is happening._ " Thought Menma.

 **Lemon**

With a shrug and casting thought to the wind Menma grabbed the young womans ass with one hand and used the other to cup her cheek so he could stick his tongue down her throat, the pleased noise was reason enough to spur him on.

Nora separated from him and bounced impatiently, "C'mon-c'mon let's do this already!"

"Right, right." Now, Menma hadn't really had sex in a quite a while but even he knew that this was weird, not that he was going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

So, that being said. He made it his divine mission to fuck this teenager into next week, which was a few days away incidentally.

Hard as steel and ready to go Nora giggled and turned onto her stomach, sticking her ass in the air and smacking her cheeks with her hands, Menma went to put it into the usual slot only for her to grab his dick and place it at her back door, "None of the sweetness on the first time, Teddy. You get to fuck my ass!" Sweet Dust this girl was something else.

Without the usual lube and shrugged and tossed her onto her back, straddling her and shoving his dick into her mouth, Nora was wide eyed for a moment before she took a deep breath through her nose and her eyes glazed over, " _So what, she likes anal and has a scent fetish? WHAT IS THIS WOMAN!?_ " Feeling her tongue dance at his glands he didn't bother thinking more on that matter, instead just hammering away, Nora leant up and put her nose against his pelvis, shuddering in delight and locking her arms behind his back.

Menma felt the sensation of the vacuum-seal deepthroat spread over his whole body, it was like she was trying to suck out the air in his lungs through his dick, but if she was aiming for air she failed in that respect as he felt his balls tighten up as he released a torrent of white into her mouth, Nora's eyes rolled back as she tried to drink it all, but volume beat out willpower as it ended spilling out of her nose, releasing her death grip the orangette fell back against the bed and breathlessly began rubbing herself all over, swallowing the seed in her mouth and huffing heavily enough that her breasts jiggled with each heave.

"Put on that pelt and... fuck me like... an animal." The orangette ordered, wiping what she could off her lips and taking great pains to suck ever molecule off her fingers.

" _Everything in my life that has led up to this point, pales in comparison to the pleasure I will derive from tonight._ " Menma locked the door and threw his pelt on, his dick hard as rock once more as he pulled Nora's lower body to himself and lanced her in one swift movement, getting tingles from how it was the perfect storm between tight and easy.

Nora writhed with each thrust, grabbing his forearms and pushing back each time he dove in. It continued like this only for mere minutes, shamefully his shot-time had decreased quite a lot during his time in the woods, ah well. It was like riding a bike, sticky, tight bike with boobs.

So nothing like a bike at all.

Spreading ass like this amazing though, sensations were hard describe in hinsight, but the way Nora's toes curled and how her tits jiggled with each thrust was evidence enough she was getting just as much out of this as he was.

Or more, as he pushed in just that bit more and filled her tight little asshole with cum, Nora quivered like a hot mess before arching her back and gushing like a river, her mouth agape in as the air caught in throat, little to nothing escaping, aside from the jizz dribbling down her back due to her position.

" _I've done good work here._ " Menma thought to himself, but he wasn't done yet, he was going to enjoy every second he could draw from this.

 **Menma's Room; 7:30 AM (Saturday)**

The night had been one to remember, Nora ended up hobbling back to her teams room at about 2 in the morning, after showing and cleaning up as best she could. She didn't exactly explain what brought this one aside from 'A bit of super-duper fun between friends'. Not that he minded a bit of casual sex, but that was probably the best answer he was going to get. It seemed Nora acted how she saw fit, and had 'fun' in any way she wanted.

He figured he'd spend today on his weapon mods, and where was the best place to get parts? His parents shop to be blunt, in this part of Vale anyway, he never had a reason to look for another. Sighing it was probably best to get this out of the way today anyway. Sooner the better, right?

Hopefully.

Dressing up about as much as he cared to, tripp pants, sneakers and pelt Menma grabbed his bag and made sure his notebook was inside before locking up his staff apartment room and whipping the key into his bag, hands in pockets he began walking.

Once he got to the courtyard he was stopped, by Yang of all people Ruby looking on not far away. The blonde looked quite angry, "I don't know who the hell you think you are, but if you think you can mess with my partner like that, you've got another thing coming." Menma leant out of the way of her punch, and the next one. A small frown set onto his face.

"Ms. Xiao Long need I remind you that I am a teacher, and you can be expelled quite quickly if you continue your attempts." That made her stop, grit her teeth and have what appeared to be an internal debate, "I'll not bring it up, if you get your fuckin' head on straight, girl. Ms. Belladonna accepted the consequences of skipping my class, and I'll assume will have one thing less to stress about because of it. So go back to your team and stop taking up my time."

Turning on his heel he left towards the departure station, another pair of feet quickly came up behind him, a small form bumping into his own, looking down and to his right he was given sight of Ruby, "Mornin'." He greeted, "You here to grill me about Blake as well?"

"Not really." Ruby screwed up her face slightly, "Blake told us a lot last night, stuff that must have been really weighing on her, in a really weird way I suppose I should thank you for helping out one of my teammates." Menma smiled at the maturity that took, "I still wanna kick your butt for the way you did it though."

"I can live with that." Menma conceded with a chuckle, "I'm heading into Vale, visit the family and pick some stuff up for the chainsword, wanna come with?" Ruby was already at the departure dock waving at him, bouncing from one foot to the other, shaking his head at her excitable nature he couldn't keep the smile off his face.

 **End**

 **First sexytime scene, very outta the blue but that was kinda the point. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, lemme know if you did, if you didn't and wanna throw out needlessly theatrical drivel that's cool to, or if you're a lemming made of cheese.**

 ** _Raxychaz!_**


	4. Chapter 4

**That Guy: Are you happy senpai noticed you?**

 **Hybrid Genesis: I will tingle you in ways you didn't know you could tingle my sweet prince.**

 **dpdj1: Of course my sweetest of Baby Cakes, I endeavor to please. :D**

 **Extreme-UnDEAD: "I'd like to teach the world to fap, in perfect harmony."**

 **Hope we all had a good consumerism day, because I get to go into work on Super-Consumerism day!**

 **Start!**

The sound of steel striking bone echoed in the store of _Uzumaki Weaponry_. Ruby blinked at the sight a beautiful redhead woman hitting her friend/teacher in the head with a flanged mace, well striking his Ursa in the head but still. She sported a brown leather apron with matching gloves on, she had the same fair skin as her son but instead of golden eyes she had dark lilac. Her long red hair tied back so it didn't get in the way.

"Good to see you too, mum." Menma greeted with a sigh, taking the mace out of her hands and pulling the hood of his pelt down, this time copping a fist to the forehead, "Yeuup, real good."

"MENMA!" Shouted a voice, Menma's eyes widened before he was kicked out of the stoor, door and all, Ruby blinked as a blur of black followed after her teachers form, Mrs. Uzumaki and herself ran outside to see a tall man with _long_ black hair, spiked like it was going out of style and muscles abound clad in a black t-shirt and shorts combo wearing sandals, he had interesting eyes as they bore slit, vulpine pupils with bright golden coloured iris' and had a pair of fox-like ears propped atop his head.

Menma dragged himself up from the road, rubbing his bruised cheek that healed quickly, Menma stood up and pulled his skull back down, "Dad." He greeted getting a smirk in response.

"3 years of almost complete silence from you, do you know how deep you're in it boy?" Madara Uchiha the progeny of Tatsumi Uchiha and Kurama Otsutsuki, half-Faunus. It was a miracle Menma even existed as half-breeds were much like mules, a donkey/horse but where as a mule was completely infertile, a half-faunus just has an _incredibly_ low sperm count.

Menma was actually born sterile as a consequence of his father's strong genes, something that he resented his parents for, why have a child if you rob them of the choice to continue the line? While he didn't have the ears, he did have a much more durable body, a slightly heightened sense of sight and a _very_ strong sense of smell.

"So what, you're gonna discipline me like a little kid?" Menma asked with a chuckle, only to have to avoid taking a sandal to the head, "Alright so we're doing _**this**_ now!" Bellowed the younger male, his form ensnared by bloody red flames, sclera matching colour as his hair seemed to lift from the currents of energy his body was exerting, shooting after his old man and spinning into a round house he had to use the momentum to avoid a counter punch to the knee, Madara grabbed his son by the arm but couldn't seem to move him, "Fun fact about semblances, they're hereditary in rare cases." A tide of red seemed to be pulled out of the very air and slammed down against Madara's body soaking the half-faunus with bloody water.

"Don't try to educate me, boy. I taught you all you know." Rebuked Madara, swiping at the air and combusting it, Menma seemingly melted away and appeared to his right, striking him in the ribs with a SPAAAARTAA! Kick.

"You taught me all I _knew_." Corrected the teen, only to lean away from an uppercut and heave as a palm strike hit his solar-plex, sending him back a few feet, his sneakers squeaking against the road. Passerby's all stayed to watch, but kept their distance.

Menma growled lowly as his old man tried to lay him out with a shoulder barge while he was still trying to regain his breath, but avoided it throwing his arm into his previous space and swiping the air, delivering a stream of rose-red flames towards his back, Madara hissed before slashing at the air with his hand and palm thrusting with the other, sending one chain of fire away only to throw another.

Menma picked up the water that he'd created and used it to douse the flames, Madara's face was hit with hot steam and forced him to squint, he heard a clink of metal and blinked only to suddenly feel blinding light and ringing. A sudden sense of vertigo was added onto the chain of nauseating sensations and Madara was laid out in front of his family store, on his back and covered in red water.

The quarter stared at the half, body oozing with his flame-like aura bubbles of red popping into more flames, like blood cells feeding oxygen. Menma slipped forward like a stream and broke through his father's ramshackle guard with a vicious headbutt, Madara's eyes snapped open from shock, the boy grabbed his shoulders and used the gathered momentum to flip over the older male and with all his might throw him directly into the bitchament, Madara's body _bounced_ as it impacted, the furious hunter delivered a vicious axe kick directly to the older man's stomach making him gasp and gape from the powerful impact.

To avoid confusion later, Menma had his mother's Liquid Manipulation and his father's Creation of Flame. Liquid Manipulation worked with _anything_ in a state of liquid, blood and water were by far the easiest and with blood one could force their opponent's body to become much heavier, thereby rendering them helpless. Water molecules were easy to pull from the air around him, though it took _years_ of practice to achieve it.

Creation of Flame, as the name implied, allowed the user to create fire, though these were apparently 'Sacred Flames' as they look piteously cold for flames but burnt with such force that it could reduce and Ursa to dust in milliseconds and melt steel with minimal effort.

So when Menma and Madara threw fire at one another they were actually trying to melt the other one, to prove a point.

One wanted to prove that his child wasn't ready to make such rash decisions and still needed to be with his family.

Menma was trying to prove he could do whatever the fuck he pleased because he was a goddamn adult.

The cheeky flashbang was just to rub salt into the wound. Menma approached his downed father and picked him up, pulling the blood laced water off him, Ruby noticed he looked a good deal paler than usual. "I came here to say hello and buy some things, if this is how you treat the clientele I'll take my business elsewhere." Menma said breezily, though the Rose could spot how he had the slightest of sways to his stance, Kushina frowned but nodded, Madara being guided in by his wife, his vision still spotty.

Menma pulled his notebook out, grabbed a basket and began filling up, Ruby sidling up next to him awkwardly, "So... it was nice to meet your parents?"

"You sound quite unsure about that." Menma observed distantly, eyes locked onto his list, "That's quite usual though, my father's a strong guy but nothing like he used to be." The memories of when he and his father would go on missions together filling the back of his head, he frowned slightly. The mess that was his family situation would undoubtedly just get worse if he left it as is, but the question was whether it was worth the hassle.

Decisions for another time, or just in a few hours after he had something to eat and cleared his head of all this clutter. "I didn't plan on dragging you here to see that, I apologise."

"Hey don't worry, I get it. Crazy family stuff." Ruby waved him off, a little awkward in doing so but the sincerity was endearing.

"I'll not ask, if only to avoid the topic of the strange people we share blood with." Ruby gave a small sigh of relief, "I'll look for the Dust converters, you look for the toothless chains." The girl nodded and walked off in a different direction, Menma going towards the back of the store and looking at the various items therewithin.

"We thought you were dead you know." Kushina's voice sounded from just behind him, Menma frowned, "Every day we'd worry that our little boy was gone and that he was never coming back, but your father never gave up. He knew how strong you were, he _knew_ you'd be fine. Why did you stop contacting us? Was it because-" Menma turned and looked over his shoulder, eyes dark as Batman's spandex.

"That is not the reason I left. It was _one_ , but not nearly important enough to be the sole reason. I left because I wanted to be away from all of it, from the pair of you who _insist_ on having more children when you already know what it means, so wrapped up in your own fucking web are you two lovestruck _children_ that you can't see the sheer damage you cause, _that_ is why I left mother, _that_ is why I stopped bothering to contact you. This family means nothing because it dies when we do, end of story. So why bother stop crumbling ruin, now I'm going to buy this list of stuff and then you'll never hear from me again, because none of this _matters_!" All of his rant was delivered in a clipped, cold and low tone of voice.

"I suppose my son really did die out there." Kushina muttered, looking at him with half-lidded eyes.

"You never had a son, you had a mule." Menma snapped harshly as he strode to the counter.

 **Later, Diner.**

Ruby noticed the tension in her friends shoulders, the way he held himself straighter than usual and kept conversation to a general minimum. They were awaiting a meal, bags laid against the wall between their feet as the sat opposite one another in a booth at the corner of the store, "I'm sorry again, Ruby. I didn't want to drag my family drama up today. I probably should have just gone to another store, save us both the trouble." Menma muttered, looking at the cold can in his hand as he awaited his food, not bothering to open the beverage until he could have it with food.

"Like I said, it's fine." Ruby assured, only to see the frown on his lips crease further.

"How are you so relaxed about this manner? Most people would be chomping at the bit to find out why I have such animosity to the idea of familial relations." Menma questioned with a quirked brow.

"Well it's not really any of my business, but if you want to talk about it I'm happy to listen." She offered bashfully, a small smile on her face in a bid to cheer up him, he stopped frowning so intently so that could constitute as a plus.

Menma paused for a moment as if weighing his options before shaking his head, pausing again only as the food arrived, steak chips and smothered in mushroom gravy for himself and for Ruby it was less of a substantial meal and more so a treat, cheesecake with strawberries just fucking everywhere.

Ruby liked strawberries.

Menma breathed in the delicious scent of his meal and salivated at the idea of hooking in, "Basically I was born sterile because my father is a half-faunus with exceptionally strong genes, I'm quite upset over the notion because I was essentially a wasted birth." Ruby's fork dropped from her hand as she looked at her friend tearing into his meal with gusto, in an oddly methodical manner, cut the stake, remove it from the fork grab two chips, put the stake back onto the end and roll it into the gravy.

Not what she needed to be thinking about!

"How can you say that about yourself!" She asked, distressed.

"Look I'm not gonna start cutting my wrists and writing poetry, but objectively I was a wasted birth. I can't reproduce so the best I can do is adopt some kid and pass on what I know. It's just like in the wild if one of the pups is born lame, the rest will leave it for the good of the pack. I wouldn't be _so_ mad if they didn't keep popping out kids, I have three younger sisters that I'll never willingly associate with because they too will have been born sterile."

"Did you really want children?" Ruby asked quietly, Menma paused and looked at her.

"I would have liked the option." He answered, a dark undercurrent had a stranglehold on the conversation, thankfully it seemed her teacher had the presence of mind to notice, "Enough about that, I'd rather not dwell on it and I doubt you want to spoil a good meal with it. So we'll enjoy this and if you want we can go somewhere you like afterwards." Ruby smiled and nodded, returning to her deliciousness, she didn't know at what point this little outing had turned into her first date but the pink in her cheeks wouldn't go away.

Yang had always teased her about boys and the like, being a year or so younger than her peers didn't really help her confidence on that matter, and yet here was a smart, reasonable man just sweeping her off her feet with the poise and serenity of a monk. The age difference did occur to her for a moment but then it really didn't bother her so much at the moment, if this _was_ a date than it meant he didn't see her as a little girl who needed to be coddled or as his pupil to be taught, she was his friend.

If it wasn't a date than it would be great practice. And a little bit crushing to be blown off like a leaf in the wind.

That and it's not like Huntsmen/Huntresses coupling together when they were young was a new thing, it was mostly common practice for people to end up with one of their teammates, and almost everyone who cared to knew about Ozpin and Glynda.

And they had 10 years between them instead of the 7 with present company, Ruby being 15 turning 16 near the end of the year and Menma being 22 turning 23 at some point in time.

"When's your birthday?" She asked suddenly, Menma's blinked from the gravy induced haze, it was _really_ good, and had enough of cognitive function to form a sentence.

"Moon Pie." It didn't have to be the right 'scentence'.

"What?" Ruby blinked, that was kinda out of left field.

"Huh? Sorry I was really out of it for a moment."

Ruby giggled at the confused expression on his face, mixed with concern at the fact he'd zoned out so easily, "I was asking when your birthday is."

"Oh! May 20th." He answered, smiling slightly at his own foolishness, "Yours?"

"Moon Pie." Ruby answered with a toothy smile, mirth in her silver eyes.

"Funny." Even he had to crack a grin at that.

"October 27th." Menma nodded and pulled out his notebook under 'Important Things to Remember' he wrote the date and it's significance, Ruby was a little touched at how he wanted to make sure he remembered her birthday, but hid her rapidly darkening cheeks in food.

Menma's eyes flickered over to her cheeks a smile creased his lips but he didn't say anything, just finished his food in comfortable silence.

 **Vale; From Dust til Dawn**

A familiar sight to Ruby, she entered the shop with a familiar old man, aged and grey with the top of his head bald and the remaining hair loose and thin, his eyes were almost perpetually narrowed, like his skin was just giving up and giving a not so subtle hint that it was time to jump off the planet.

Menma nodded to the man as he went to inspect Dust Crystal containers for the transport back to Beacon, "Well if it isn't the young miss who prevented that robbery, I really owe ya one little missy. That fellow was bad news, the police have been on an almost permanent stake out since, in case he tries again." Roman Torchwich was an incredibly high priority target, and if the look of the shelves were anything to go by it would seem the man had been draining the old shopkeeper's supplies from the source, Menma did not like the idea that a simple old man who was just trying to keep living was being targeted because he peddled Dust.

Then again this could just be one puzzle piece to a possibly larger plan. The barbarous hunter made a note in his pad before plucking a suitcase-like container from the shelf and taking it to the counter, seeing Ruby half-heartedly try to brush the praise off, it would seem she enjoyed the attention and recognition as much as anyone else. This would be good, a perspective on what kind of people she would be fighting for.

"If I may interrupt sir, I'd like to take this, two fire crystals and a lightning crystal." Menma interjected getting a nod and a cheerful smile from the old man as he placed two red and a one buzzing blue crystal into the case and rung the price up.

"It's good to see new faces, I don't think we've met young man, are you new to Vale?" The shopkeep asked, noticing the slight accent he seemed to have.

"I've spent the better part of half a decade in the woods, so technically yes." Answered the Hunter with a chuckle, getting a surprised look from the man, "Self-imposed training, nothing makes you better quicker than being in the thick of it." Menma nodded to himself as the man sweatdropped at the idea but shook it off.

"Either way, you're always welcome in my shop. Please come again." Menma slid his card into the machine and his account was billed grabbing the receipt he took the case and Ruby as he left, the smaller black/red head waving to the man as they left.

"Anywhere else you'd like to go?" Menma asked, only for the girl to gasp, slap her hands onto her cheeks and look up at him with stars in her eyes.

"I have a great idea!"

 **Vale; Sea Overlook**

Two good things about walking _almost_ everywhere. It built up an appetite, and two when you _did_ finally sit on a transport it was like heaven. Menma and Ruby had traveled on foot most of the way around town after getting off the transport from Beacon, but going from one end of Vale to the other was a bit of a stretch. So after acquiring more goodies the duo were off to the best view in Vale.

The pair sat quietly, nibbling at fish 'n' chips, slices of lemon next to the fish, and watched the ocean, one good thing about Vale being on the coastline was views like this. The waves of blue striking that clifface, Menma was fine with heights but there always this diabolical little voice in his head saying ' _Jump, you could probably make it_.' Fuck that voice.

Him and cliffs didn't really mix well.

"This was a marvelous idea." Menma said, looking to the girl seated beside him with a smile, Ruby got all bashful and looked down, "Do I make you uncomfortable?" Her head snapped back up in a second, " _That's a negative on that front Chief, assumption 2 is the correct one, she's smitten and it's fucking adorable._ "

"No! I've just... well I've never been _out_ with a boy like this before." She admitted awkwardly, making a few random hand motions to go with it.

"I suppose this did turn from a trip to the store for weapon parts, to a date rather quickly didn't it?" Menma asked with an amused lilt to his voice, "I'll endeavor to make it end on a high note, my dear Rose." He swore, a grin growing further at her reddened face. " _That was a shocking line, I'm glad it worked though, it would appear she appreciates theatrics, sweet dust that makes it much easier, I hate acting like a stiff._ "

Ruby made a bold move and sidled up next to him, leaning into his side, slightly. Menma took that and raised her an arm over the shoulder, "I'll hold you to it." Muttered the girl. " _Oh my dust what am I doing!? Am I making a fool outta myself or is he actually okay with this? Maybe he's just being nice? Boys are confusing!_ "

They really aren't.

 **Beacon**

Ruby had yet to relinquish his hand even as they stepped into the academy proper, she was all sunshine and sparkles at the prospect of the date, the idea of their relationship had been on the forefront of her mind, she had let slip one thing and began running incessantly, questioning him on what to do and not to, what was his biggest peeves and what he loved, Menma answered to the best of his abilities.

But by the end of it she resolved to not take it beyond a harmless date until she knew more about him, aside from their time spent pouring over the weapon and today, she'd spent very little personal time with him and she at least knew that you didn't start 'being with' someone you knew for such a short time.

Menma could, and did, appreciate the sentiment, but she still didn't let go of his hand, occasionally she would play with his fingers and giggle to herself, over the moon as she was with the prospect of being treated as more than just a little girl with a big scythe.

From their time together he spoke to her like an equal, he saw Ruby where other's saw someone else.

Nattering on about him would do her little good, she finally separated from his hand and bid him a good day, "I'll see you in class tomorrow!" Cheerful as a sun in the morning, she zipped off leaving the older hunter standing there on his own, he began walking to his room only to hear another _whoosh_.

"Wait I forgot to ask something!" Ruby quickly jumped in front of him and looked up at him with big silver eyes, "Don't people usually kiss after the first date?"

Menma chuckled, "Sometimes, it depends on each person I suppose. Why would you like to end on such a note?" He asked with comely eyes, Ruby's lips creased into a line as she blushed a 'hnggh!' noise leaving her, she quickly hopped and pecked his cheek.

"OKAYBYEIHADFUN!"

"And so with a face aflame, the chaste maiden left the dark hunter to his trek." Narrated Menma with a self-satisfied grin, the trip to his room was uneventful and tame, as he liked it. He unlocked the door, tossed his pelt onto his bed and laid out his new acquisitions on his desk, popping the blade on his sword in half he watched as the moist metal, thirsty for blood as it was, parted without a worry.

"Now then my dear, Helios, shall we?" He asked aloud, as though expecting the blade to answer but when none came he merely chuckled and pulled the various tools he'd need from a small box under his desk and began removing the blood vacuum.

"This will be my greatest creation yet, I imagine I could see a weaker design for quite a bit. Jaune would benefit from a chainsword, lovely as his weapon in he needs to compensate for his mild strength at the moment, sooner rather than later." There were many thing he could think of at the moment to assist a great few of his students, but Jaune always seemed to be at the forefront, he wanted the boy to succeed, thus why he pushed him that bit more.

For no other reason than he just wished a good life for him, a long life. He wished that for all his students now that he thought about it, being able to watch them grow was going to be a blessing, and no doubt quite the burden.

 **End.**

 **So that's my next chapter, sorry about the delay, I've got people visiting so my time to write is limited moreso than usual. That and bloody christmas.**

 **If you liked it, tell me. If you didn't, lemme know. If you thought it was totes kawaii-desu-chan-kun-sama-senpai-san then feel free to also tell me.**

 _ **Raxychaz!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for general lack of responses this time, I'm posting this at 4:30 in the morning because I feel kinda shitty for taking so long to update anything. I've still got visitors and It's super awkward to write with an audience of any kind.**

 **I still love yo faces and will return to regular postings swiftly.**

 **Enjoy.**

 **Survival 101; 2:00 PM**

Menma arrived a bit earlier than he usually did, a hop in his step as the first tests of the chainsword had gone marvelously. The blade whirred like a proper source of destruction should, and the Dust seemed to affect the motor. Obviously the fire crystals would swathe it in flames, his semblance having something to do with this perhaps, the lightning crystal increased the speed in which the chain would spin, exponentially so.

He'd set Helios on his desk and once more propped his feet up and turned on his tablet, he watched One Punch Man in peace for a dozen or so minutes, until a hand found his shoulder, he removed the earbud and spun around on his chair to greet this person, he did not expect Blake Belladonna to be there.

She looked quite tired.

"Good morning, Ms. Belladonna, is there something I can do for you?" He asked lightly, she sat on his desk and sighed lengthily, now Menma was a little concerned, the reserved and quiet girl he'd observed wouldn't so brazenly sit on her teachers desk.

"I'm telling you this because I need to tell someone and I also am willing to take the risk of you informing the headmaster." Blake began, Menma set his tablet on the desk and gave her his full attention, "That person that contacted me, from the White Fang? They did so again, and informed me a hit has been placed on me, just like all defectors from the Fang."

"So what, you expect them to strike at you while you're in Beacon?" Menma asked with a risen brow, knitting his fingers together and narrowing his gaze.

"It's possible, given the current climate of Faunus/Human relations I expect they'd be bold enough, weather it could be done is another thing, but like I said I'm willing to tell you because you've done right by us so far." She smirked, it seemed to diminish with how tired she looked but it was still coloured with mischief, "That and Ruby seems quite taken with you, so I'll trust my Leader's judgment." She didn't expect him to frown at that, nor the hard stare that he leveled at her.

"I'd thank you not to bring such things up within my classroom, Ms. Belladonna. Coming to me with an issue like this is perfectly fine, but what I do outside of the classroom has no business being within it." Blake could respect that, _did_ respect that, he seemed principled enough to keep his 'home' life out of his work life.

"I'll keep that in mind." Blake promised with a nod.

Menma's expression softened and neutralized, "Now, as with the White Fang hit, I _can_ actually help with that. It's just a small matter of knowing when they'll strike... did your contact give you _anything_ else?"

"Only that it'd be within the week." Ah, so an immediate problem. This was much better than he expected, if it was some distant incident than it would impact severely on Blake's health, lack of sleep, stress and anxiety would eventually ruin her body and she'd be unable to defend herself.

"Very well. If you so desire I can assist you when the time comes, or I can keep an eye on you at most times. If you feel vulnerable where you are, feel free to come to me at any time. My door is always open." Menma offered easily, whilst most would assume a man of his appearance and character would be seeking the tawdry benefits of such an arrangement, the survival of one of his students was possibly on the line and he was nothing if not dedicated to his tasks, and helping her _survive_ was his job.

"I imagine that'd make any trust I've gained with my team diminish." Blake said with a frown.

"It's a matter of weather you desire them to see you dispatch a group of assassins, or if you want them naïve to your former life." Menma didn't know what she'd told her teammates but he assumed she kept the affiliation a secret as Ms. Schnee was quite the fucking racist.

"That is the question isn't it?" Blake mused lightly, shaking her head, ears bobbing as she did, "Thank you, Mr. Uzumaki... for listening."

"I spent most of my time ranting at trees so I'm glad you don't have to do _that_." He said, an amused lilt in his voice.

"At trees?" Questioned Blake.

"Well I wasn't going to go shouting out my grievances at Grimm, didn't need the distraction that comes with hot blood." Menma said with ease, leaning back into his chair, his whole body relaxing as his mind washed with memories, "I remember one time though, when I was so fired up that I tore a tree out of the ground and beat a Deathstalker with it... I set it on fire and impaled the creature to finally kill it."

"That... seems a little excessive." Admitted the faunus, her ears falling slightly in bewilderment.

"Oh it definitely was, but when you get a young man of 17 inflamed with his own rage, it's best to avoid the blast-zone... You know I didn't notice it until now but I've been making terrible fire puns." He grinned wolfishly and chuckled, at the slightly perplexed look on his students face he clicked his fingers together and ignited his hand in flames, understanding shon in her amber eyes and he flicked his wrist to cleanse them of the fires.

"That's atrocious." Blake muttered with a sigh, Menma laugh boisterously grinning like a fool. The mirth was contagious and forced a smile from the subdued girl, "So bad it's good?" She ventured.

"So bad it's good." Agreed the teacher. "I'll admit I'm surprised, Blake. If Ms. Xia Long's explosive behavior is anything to go by I'd have sworn I had become the bane of your existence, but here you are, confiding in me and sharing a few laughs, I'll admit the maturity you show is refreshing." Blake smiled at the slightly backhanded compliment and took it in stride.

"Thank you, I suppose."

"There's that blasé teenage behavior I was so desperately hoping for, good on you Blake. Now park your ass in your seat, class'll be starting soon." He ordered, Blake chuckled and slid of his desk, her teacher had put his game face back on and straightened out his things, lesson plan ready to go and sword set to the side, his bag on the floor under his desk. He stood up and left the room, bathroom break 10 minutes before class actually started, it was an idea that came to him after his first class when he figured out he couldn't just up and take a piss whenever he wanted.

 **Survival 101; 2:30 PM**

Menma had returned to the classroom almost as quickly as he'd left, hands still moist from their washing. His fingers ignited as he closed the door with his foot, the kids blinked at the sudden entrance, Menma flicked his fingers and put out the flames, yawning into his palm, "Alright, welcome back everyone good to see you again." He greeted with a nod at the class, eyes dragging across. No absences, see they _could_ learn.

He did roll call and dove into the topic of the day, "Now previously we covered the basics of living off the land and your kills." He began, assuming his usually position of leaning against his desk with his arms crossed, though today he pulled his pelt back and exposed his red/black hair to the class, apparently comfortable enough to do so.

He idly noticed the intense stare of Ms. Schnee, but didn't bother to call her out on it. "Today we'll be leaping from one topic to another, I can understand if some have reservations about this but it has come to my attention that you first years aren't taught to manipulate and/or hone the control of your aura by other teachers, so it's up to me to pick up the slack." They could all see the fact he was rather cross about this, out of all their teachers Mr. Uzumaki seemed to be the most passionate. Prof. Port was too busy being stuck in the past, and Ms. Goodwitch kept it to sparring most of the time, and had a very hands off approach to teaching.

It was an insult to the students and to their peers, him.

Menma bit his tongue, he'd just have to do their jobs. He'd chosen 'Survival' because of how broad it was, everything could come down to it. "Now, aura is the physical manifestation of our essence, there are many misconceptions about it so here are some facts. Aura cannot run out, it can only tire you. Counter to that though, the amount you can express at a time can be expanded, for example." His hand lit up once more, "This was my bodies first expression." His whole form was engulfed and his hair stood on end, "This is it after years of training. Practice is all it takes, guys. Practice and persistence." His aura lapsed and fizzled out as he pushed it all back in, a calming breath leaving his lips.

"Aura is flexible, most use it as a shield, but it can also be a weapon... depending on your inclination. Once more I can give you a personal example, as a young man I was a furious child, angry at everything. Anger + Power = Fire, apparently." A few chuckles emerged from his charges, a small smirk gracing his lips, "My point is that your aura is a tool, so never overlook its usefulness. Now a few simple exercises on calling your aura would be mediation, always a good one but given the setting it's a little useless. Another one is stress, physical stress is the best one. Now, who wants to be my example." The children gulped at his grin, eyes flashing red for the briefest of moments.

"No volunteers? Alright then. Jaune, get your ass down here." He ordered, slipping his skull/hood up and walking to one end of the room, Jaune made his way to the other, sword and shield in hand, Menma fetched his greatsword and in doing so made the boy gulp audibly, the protective shielding raised to keep the other children safe, Menma twisted a section of the hilt of his blade harshly and in doing so the edge broke apart, with a slow build up it began to whir ominously.

"Is that a chainsword!?" Screeched Jaune, only for his teacher to leap into the air and begin bringing the weapon down, he saw his life flash before his eyes for the briefest second before he dashed out of the way, seeing the blade sink into the floor, the teeth of the chain ripping the stone apart, Jaune was aghast.

"Are you trying to kill me!?" His blood was ice cold when he saw the look in his teacher's, nay his _friend's_ , eyes.

The rev of the chainsword made his world clear, Jaune felt _alive_ for the first time in his life. He barreled forward with his shield, sword ready to strike after it, Menma slid to the side and smacked the boy in the back with the flat of his blade, Jaune went ass up but somehow managed to land on his feet, Menma's eyes caught sight of deep green wisps around the boys body, flowing across his sword and shield.

" _It's coming out... quicker than I thought, maybe his body is just so desperate to release it that it only took a small push?_ " Thought Menma, as his body became inflamed, eyes colouring red and the floor blackening with each step, he flashed forward with a vertical swing the teacher expected his student to dodge again, only for the teen to _block_ it with his shield. Jaune's whole body was coated in a phantom suit of old Knight's armour, helmet and everything with a luxurious looking transparent cape. Jaune pushed his teacher back and struck at his side with his sword, Menma actually felt it.

" _Good, now I can keep pushing him._ " Menma smiled and righted himself, cracking his neck and ejecting the lightning crystal, fishing into his pocket for a fire gem, Weiss's eyes widened, as did Ruby, the former due to the fact that she knew the sheer power of a Fire Dust Crystal, and the latter because she didn't think Menma would push their mutual friend this aggressively.

Slamming the dust gem into the core, the blade sealed up once more and the chain solidified once more, becoming a single edge. Fire danced across the giant red blade, Jaune seemed to be in a trance, standing in a defensive stance, shield forward and sword horizontal and ready to stab for the counter.

The pair met in vicious combat, Jaune in his trance barely expressed anything beyond a grunt whenever Menma broke his guard, until suddenly, with a strike to the chest, Menma managed to bring Jaune back to the surface, the boy fell onto the ground and seemed visibly shocked at the state he was in.

"Well done Jaune, very interesting semblance." It was very easy to tell this was not just his aura, his aura was a rich viridian green whereas the phantom armour was a shimmering gold. "If you would kindly turn it off and return to your seat we'll continue the lesson." Jaune tried to control a sensation he'd never had before and ever so slowly did the armour dissolve. Shakily Jaune retreated to his desk.

" _I... I did it. I used my semblance... I'm not a fraud anymore, I_ _ **belong**_ _here now. Thank you, Menma. Thank you so much._ " In hindsight he could see what his teacher was trying to do, scare him into activating his abilities.

 **Beacon Academy; Gym. 4:00 PM**

The class had gone smoothly enough, the little combat display was to show ways aura could activate under different circumstances, whether willed to or not. He'd given the kids a few exercises to use later tonight before they slept to try and get a better grasp on their aura and by doing so, attune themselves with it better so to control it with greater ease.

He'd hauled Jaune, and by proxy his team, off to the gym and was currently not skipping leg day, once again on the leg press whilst team JNPR did the 100/100/100/20 exercise that he'd put Jaune on that first day. Lie Ren was the only one who seemed to have reservations about the sudden workout regime but Menma told him it was either suffer a bit of discomfort or die to a Grimm because he was too tired.

Whilst it didn't seem to motivate the boy per se, it did drive home to him that it was necessary.

"So... while we're all here, anything anyone wanna talk about?" Pyrrah asked, aloud, already onto her sit ups. Menma remained quiet and concentrated on his workout, after this he figured it'd be good to do some weights. "Nothing interesting happen at all?"

"Oh-oh! Me-me-me!" Chimed in Nora, raising her hand but insodoing fell on her side as she was on pushups still, her antics drew a small smirk from their teacher. "I did something super-fun recently."

"And what was that, Nora?" Menma immediately knew where this was going and was more than prepared with a counter. Pyrrah could talk shit if she so desired but as an autonomous creature with free will, he reserved the right to respect the choices of his students.

If one of those choices was offering up sex for a bit of harmless fun, he was more than happy to go along with it, as a pair of consenting participants.

"I had sex!" Jaune and Ren choked on the air in their throats and looked at the girl with shocked eyes, "With him! It was great, we had lots of fun." She pointed at Menma before resuming her pushups.

"WHAT?!" Exclaimed the boys.

"Harmless fun between friends, boys. Keep it up." Menma ordered, as he pushed out the final few presses he could, legs burning and muscles aching. Perhaps too much weight today? Probably too much weight today.

He turned to sit and his legs felt like jelly, but the endorphins in his system made him grin like a fool, "Far too much weight today." He knew better, but he felt like doing something silly for the sake of it. Who know's why.

"It's was great!" Once more Nora had a radiant grin on her face, her eyes found his and he smiled, almost causing her face to split with glee, apparently she was pleased that he was pleased.

"It was certainly something, I'll sat that." Menma admitted with a chuckle, only to see the inflamed cheeks of Jaune and Lie Ren almost illuminate the room, "Come now, boys. No need to be so bashful it's just your friends talking about a night well spent."

"It explains that limp." Muttered Pyrrah, shaking her head. "I thought the worst, I apologize."

Menma blinked, "Wait what did you think happened?" Pyrrah bowed her head in what he assumed was shame and daren't respond, "Now I'm just concerned, did you think so little of me that you won't even bring it up?"

"It's just that you're a teacher and Nora's a student, and she was kind of a mess when she came back so-" Menma cut Pyrrah off with a sharp look.

"So what you thought I took advantage of Nora? Did you think so little of myself that I would do that and of your teammate for willingly putting herself in a situation of such gravity? Dust preserve me, that's ridiculous, Pyrrah."

"That's messed up, Pyrrah." Nora said with a dark frown on her lips, the redhead amazon looked heavy with shame, Menma's legs ignited and he moved over to the bench he would be using for his weight lifting muttering to himself about the horrible things children could think of him.

"I'll spot ya!" Chimed the orangette as she hopped up and walked over to her sex-buddy, the boys cast a look at Pyrrah that was caught between concerned and insulted.

A few other people filed into the gym but other than that little gem, not much of note happened.

 **Menma's Room; 5:20 PM**

The youthful teacher was fixing a few hiccups he'd found in the chainsword during its usage in a real combat trial, he'd found that every few seconds the blade would stall for just a millisecond or so, and thus he had to shore up the wiring on the dust core.

After the time he'd spent in the gym with Jaune and his team, as was becoming a trend, Menma was also graced with the sight of Team RWBY doing exercises. Once more, the image of attractive young women doing squats would forever be burnt into his mind, such was the majesty of it all.

Asses were great.

A knock at his door made him sigh, he already had everything out and set up. He really didn't want interruptions at this point, but it was better to have them before rather than during. Getting up from his chair he opened it up to reveal, the familiar hooded sight of Ruby, and the unexpected one of Weiss.

"Ruby, Ms. Schnee, is there something I can do for you both?" He asked, quite curious as to what situation was about to appear before him.

"Well I wanted to see what you were up to with your weapon, but Weiss wanted to come as well for some reason." Ruby explained, Weiss made a face as she kept staring at the older male critically.

"Well come on in, I don't mind the company." He offered, standing aside and holding the door, the girls entered and he let it shut as he sat in his chair. Ruby sitting on the foot of his bed whilst Weiss parked her ass into the other chair.

"Have we met before?" Began Weiss, Menma blinked and tugged on his hair, drawing her eyes.

"You were younger, as was I. I believe you were... eight or nine at the time. Our mothers are quite close I believe." Menma offered, Weiss' eyes widened as realization crossed her expression, "Yes, I'm _that_ Menma Uzumaki."

"There are others?" Ruby asked, oblivious to Weiss' revelation.

"No, well possibly. But not in Vale, immigrant grandparents and all." Was all he offered, Ruby accepted it as it wasn't exactly critical knowledge so felt no need to push for more information at the present time.

"I have the vaguest recollection of you I think... your mother Kushina and your father Madara offered you up to my parents for an arranged marriage I believe?" Menma nodded and she continued, surprisingly calm about it, perhaps it was a mere cliff note in her life? That'd be more relieving than anything else, he'd met her once or twice through their mother's relationship but outside that there was no contact between them. "For some reason it was called off after a few shorts months, yes! Now I remember you tripped over the second step of the house and hit your head on the door because the stonemason made an error whilst measuring the steps!" Mirth almost oozed from the girl when she recalled it.

Menma did too, he'd stumbled enough for his forehead to collide with the doorknob just before it opened so the first sight his almost betrothed would have seen was him, on his back, on the ground with a cut forehead.

"Why _did_ our mother's cut it off? Mother never told me so I assume something happened on your end." Deduced Weiss, with all the poise her upbringing afforded her.

"Well aside from our father's having more than a few disputes, what with how your father wanted mine's head mounted on a wall because he's a xenophobe, it was discovered shortly after the idea popped into our mother's heads that I was born sterile, I'm a mule. Quarter-faunus with a stronger genetic link to my father than my mother, and as a consequence the contract was voided before it could begin, so that the effort of us trying to produce a child wouldn't be wasted." Informed the Uzumaki, as was his right to do so. Weiss at least deserved to know _why_ they stopped seeing one-another.

The girl blinked rapidly for a few moments before letting out a rather subdued "Oh." Followed by the obligatory, "I'm sorry for your situation."

"Not your fault, it's nice to have seen you after all these years, for whatever that's worth." The Schnee took it in stride and tilted her head slightly.

"And you, Menma." Ruby winced at the gloomy subject returning, she wasn't the best at comforting people, even if her friend was able to shoulder it himself she still felt the urge to help him in some way. Weiss stood up and patted down her skirt, "I'll leave you to it, would you be open to catching up properly soon? Over lunch perhaps?" Offered the young heiress, Menma smiled and nodded.

"I'd like that Weiss, thank you." The pale girl flushed slightly at those intense gold eyes and that gentle smile he wielded like fine weaponry before retreating hurriedly out the door. " _Phew! That was too close. You almost blew it and tripped over your words, Weiss but you did it._ " The girl scampered off, victory etched onto her face.

"I find myself in such interesting situations of late." Muttered Menma with a small chuckle.

 **End**

 **If you liked it, tell me. If you didn't, senpai will notice you. If you're a muffin that sexually identifies as an Apache helicopter, seek help.**

 _ **Raxychaz!**_


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